Was I really this fucking fat in December?!?!?!?! Please tell me these pics deceive mine eyes?!?!

I know I was that huge but I don’t have that many pics of me. These were from mom’s camera that I downloaded this morning for this pic

To upload this pic to my brother and to the local news station for submisison for my Dad. It will be on tonight’s 10 p.m. newscast. While looking through the pictures, I saw those two (among a few others) on mom’s card. It sure was enough of a wakeup call to remind me that I may look hot now but why settle for just hot when I can be damn fine if I keep going. So seeing those pics really helped me to get focused again and keep my eyes on the prize.

Then while I was taking my afternoon walk for my lunchbreak it hit me that I WILL be sipping mojitos on the beach in just under 6 weeks give or take. I’m gonna be at the fucking beach, what the fuck am I thinking letting myself go like this. It’s time to really buckle down and shoot for the stars. Why not get below 230 before I go to Cancun. I know it can be done. It’s time to redouble my planning efforts and to work my ass off in the exercise dept. No excuses no nothing, take no prisoners I’m gonna work out 3x a day until my trip. Why? Because now more than every is the time to be ever vigilant. I had wanted to start my body for life challenge today and it would’ve been perfect for this but I don’t have the funds since all my extra cash is going toward vaca. Instead I will work on my exercising and do the BFL challenge in the fall. I’m all stoked. I did exercise on my lunch break and will exercise again tonight before bed. While I’m chilling out to the bachelorette I will map out my plan for the next week and my exercise plan for the next month. I have a pretty good idea of what I wanna do when, but putting it to paper makes it all the better. Ready or not beach here I come. Now I just have to find out if it will be nudie beaches or not

I’ve been run over by the wagon again. A complete and total fall off and sabotage myself week. What can I say. I like dejå vu? I think not. I planned my weekend and one little thing led to another and before I knew it, I’m binging just for the sake of it. This morning’s weight? 260. I’m up 13 pounds from 2 weeks ago. I know some of it is time of month gain, a few from the beers last Saturday but a lot of it is from pure and simple pigging out. It’s not quite the dejå vu from last time I was this low because I have let everyone IRL know that I’m really struggling to get back on top. Last time, I kept kidding myself that it was just 2 pounds, then 3, then 5, then 10 and I could gain control and never let anyone know that I was having problems. This time everyone knows. I did well yesterday with eating until the end of the day. I even got my calendar back out and wrote out a menu. I again have one in place for today. I’m also going to walk on my lunch break. I’m borrowing Sandi’s phrase “NO MATTER WHAT.” I know that’s what I have got to do to get myself going back in a healthy direction. I had planned on starting a Body for Life Challenge on monday but the planets didn’t quite align the way I needed them too. I may start it the following Monday (June 9). We’ll just have to see. If not I am definitely getting back to planning, planning, planning. Because of my lack of control or whatever you wanna call it, I’ve avoided here and 3fc like the plague this week. It stops now. There is no sense in hiding. It won’t solve my problems.

Speaking of planning, I am going to take me a nice vacation in the near future to CANCUN. I can’t wait. Brenda and I are going to go. I already told all my family they can band together and get me the vacation as a combo gift for my birthday/anniversary next month. It’s going to be so nice!!!!! I am so ready. Which is all the more reason to get back on track so I’ll look not just hot but smoking hot for the vacation. It’s an all inclusive resort—complete with drink, tips, etc. Can you tell I’m excited about this. In case you are wondering why I’m going with a coworker and not my hubby is because 1) He won’t get paid vacation until September and doesn’t want to take a week off without pay and 2) The week we are going is the ONLY week where I could have all 4 children cared for by different people and not have them be a burden. Lilly will be with Mom, Chris is with MIL, a worker from daycare will take Nate and I’m going to ask SIL to take William. If she can’t take him, then there is another worker from daycare who can take him. White sandy beaches, some cabana boy waiting on me hand and foot. Well I can dream anyway. So I have about two months to get everything ready, which includes getting a copy of my birth certificate and obtaining a passport. All that should take place next week. Yeehaw.

And somehow that 11-letter word just doesn’t encompass all I’m feeling. I know a lot of it is hitting the milestone of below 250. I expected that though. I didn’t expect to be getting sick, being super-stressed and just being blah. I’ve binged almost every night for a few days. Last night was the worst. I was full. Yet I forced myself to down a sleeve of crackers, cheese and turkey just because it was in the house. As much as I know that I’m barely white-knuckling it and hanging on by the skin of my teeth I KNOW that I will get through this and it will pass. I know it with 100% certainty. In times past I would say “I’ll get back on track” but would never truly believe it. I know I will. Then it hit me on the drive to work this morning, I don’t have to fix all that’s going wrong with me to get back on track. I just need to have a good day today. Let me take it one day at a time. I huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Now I’m still white-knuckling it because I’ve feel like I just wanna eat, eat, eat. I know it’s the combination of my damn period right around the corner and possibly the new medication but I’m determined to not overeat today. I did change up my snacks a bit and am having steamed veggies for my afternoon snack. It’s something new to look forward to. I had my morning snack 100 cal. cinnamon streussel things. After eating it I was ready to finish off the other things in by snack basket. I told myself to wait 15 minutes and then if I still wanted another snack I could have one or eat a yogurt. The urge to just eat passed and I made it through. I did eat lunch a bit earlier (11:45) and so far it’s settling nicely. I’ll aim for a 2-3 timeslot for my afternoon snack.

Before I told myself to just try and hang on until June 2. That’s when I’m gonna start the body for life challenge and I’m really excited about it. I’ve got to plan out the menus, get my charts written up for exercise and whatnot but I’m ready. I think it’s just what I need to get me through the summer and keep me on the path I need to be on to be healthy and active.

I sure do It would be Red Dress day. I know red dresses are normally reserved for heart disease awareness month but my red dress day signifies my scale is below 250 for the first time in 10+ years. I feel super sexy and excited today. You’d think I’d be a little self-conscious about my boobs half hanging out at work but I’ll deal with it. I look down and see two mounds of flesh and it’s okay.

It’s weird how at times I can look at myself and think Damn I’m hot and others I can’t tell I’ve lost any. Today is a H-O-T day and I know it. It was just what I needed to get me back on track. I had a shitty, shitty weekend. Well part of it was amazing. I did my 3rd 5k on Saturday. We got there a bit late and I had less than 10 minutes to get registered, pee, get my chip on and get to the starting line. I get all signed in, and chip in place and realize I left my music in the car. Dammit. Not too be discouraged I just jogged back over to car, yelling at Dad to grab my purse out. I get my music and look up and the everyone is racing. Shit. I try and get my music set and hurry over to the starting gate. I barely made it across the mats. They were about to pull them off. With all the jogging I did pre-warmup I feared I would get too exhausted. I forced myself to slow down a bit and catch my breath. I got into a groove and before I knew it, I passed people. Yay. Then I passed a few more people. I hit one checkpoint and the guy about steered me to the 1/2 marathon. Eek. I guess he was color-blind. 5kers had black numbers and the 1/2 marathoners had red. Sheesh. I made it to the turnaround with little to no problem. Crossing the Arkansas river was a bit weird. I usually will look down when I jog so I can see just in front of me. It helps me to not get discouraged with how far I have to go and I can usually increase my pace this way. Not this time. It had some weird line things running across and made me dizzy every time I saw the lines. I passed the 4k park and was like, it’s almost over. I went under the bridge thing and was rounding a curve/hill. I found myself slowing down some. The last race when I saw the finish line I pushed myself too hard and had to walk across it and I was determined to not do that this time. This lady comes up behind me and tells me not to slow down. She said she saw me jog the whole thing and I wasn’t going to walk across the line. She helped to push me a little farther and I didn’t go too fast. It was really great to see my three kiddos and mom and dad cheering me across the finish line.

Here’s the stats from this race.

So I have improved my time. My pace time showed it was slower than the last race so I’m not sure if it went off the 47:10 or the chip time. Overall it was an amazing race. I’ve now decided to increase my running time to one hour and see how far I go. I’ve looked over the summer schedule for 5k and I can’t think of any that I wanna do. So I’m going to start training for the 1/2 marathon I want to do next April. I will do more 5ks in the fall and I’ll keep checking the schedule to see if anything else pops up that I can do.

After the race, we went through the aquarium. It was okay. The kids were a bit on the misbehaving side but it wasn’t too bad. The drive home was another matter. We stopped at a lake and had a nice picnic for lunch and then went home. That’s when the kids really started acting up. It was nap time and none of them would sleep. I needed sleep. I finally told them we wouldn’t be going to Nana’s for dinner. I was so stressed, I turned to food for comfort. I ate 2 packages of Pringles chips. TWO. Just because they were there and they tasted so damn good. I finished off another sleeve of them that night before bed and one more on Sunday. I am back on track today. I guess I just needed to get a binge out of my system or something. Dad took William for me today and that has really helped to get me back on focus. I’m so much more relaxed and feel back in control. I was going to do yoga on my lunch break today to ensure I got in exercise but I feel too good in red that I don’t wanna get sweaty and take it off. I will jog when I get home tonight. I’ve added new songs to the mp3 player that I wanna try out.

So I have learned a few things—No more PRINGLES…ever; must find ways to relax and not get stressed over the kids, I still need a VACATION!!!!!

I’m normally just your age is a number kind of gal but my meds are messing up or something I sat outside the school last Thursday waiting to pick up Chris from his first dance. I got to thinking I’m too young to be this damn old to be sitting in a parking lot waiting for a child to be done with a dance. I’m only 34 (almost 35) and surely that’s not old enough to have a child old enough to be doing such things. Hell I remember my middle school dances like they were yesterday. What gives? But alas, I know I’m old enough. Shoot I have friends from high school who have kids getting ready to graduate and are almost old enough to be grandmas. Good lord, high school and being a grandma do not belong in the same sentence.

I know it happens, it’s just that I don’t know that I’m ready. I’ve been having some issues lately. It never fails that I should have some issues. I guess my prozac really has started doing something. I had not one but two panic attacks last week. One severe, the other not so severe. I called my doc’s office on Thursday to see if I could get in and the receptionist was like “we’ve got 9 people we’re trying to squeeze in today.” I finally said, “You don’t understand, I was convinced my husband was dead on Monday.” I don’t think she heard me right the first time because I had to repeat it. Upon which I was allowed to give my phone number and a nurse called me back promptly and told me to take less pills and I would start a new prescription this week. Now that leaves me having horrible, horrible mood swings again. I am going from being super happy, all is right in the world, to a depressed, no one loves me woe is me mood in the matter of a few seconds. I’m in the latter right now. This morning was a good morning. This afternoon, not so much.

I also hate that I have to be on medication just to feel like a “normal” for me. I know it’s just the lack of drugs in my system that is talking right now. I’m also going through another identity crisis. (See above about taking a middle-schooler to a dance). It doesn’t help that Chris is so open and honest and will ask any and every question there is. I’m not used to that. I try to answer them to the best of my abilities. It is also bringing up all sorts of feelings from junior and high school that I don’t really want to have to deal with now—especially since the prozac isn’t working :D.

I am trying to deal with them in slow doses and keep reminding myself that I’m a great person and I’ve worked hard to become the person I am today. I am not the shy, timid, insecure teenager I once was. I am an oustpoken, opinionated woman.

On the diet/exercise front, things are so-so. I’m hanging on but barely. I didn’t follow my written plan much last week. It was written out. I’m back on track today. I think it’s that blasted 250 mark again. It was my downfall last time. I’m determined to make it over it this time. I think that’s the problem though is I’m actually trying to get over that number instead of just doing what needs to be done to continue living a healthy life. So it’s back to just following my plan and not letting my IFC try and get me to eat tons of shit I don’t need and sit on my non-lazy ass in an effort to make it lazy again. I jogged yesterday for almost 45 minutes.

I can’t believe I’m about to join that group of women (maybe a few men) in SOCCER MOM HELL!!! It hit me tonight as I was trying to control a 20 month old, 4YO, and 5YO in a half-filled auditorium that:

1. I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever been in this type of public situation with all the kids…By MYSELF!! Sure, I’ve been tons of place with just them and me and I’ve been in a lot of public situations but I’ve always had someone else with me.
2. I really hope they behave.

For the most part, they did well. Just a few minor incidents—sitting William in the seat beside me after him not listening he hit his head on the chair and started wailing, Lilly not wanting to share the armrest with William and throwing a fit and then playing around in the floor, and Nate getting his foot stuck in one of the chairs.

I was actually relieved to hear a few other parents use the hushed threatening whispery voice. And, it let me know I’m not the only parent going through this.
So, 1 1/2 hours later (1 quick trip to the bathroom with William and Nate—Lilly stayed in the auditorium with a worker from her school) and we’re back in the van waiting for Chris. He did very well for his first band concert.

Actually my firth thought was “So this is why people only have one or two kids.” Then the I’m not ready followed by a few moments of shear terror and panic. You see, Chris is in the one school district in the town where I work. Lilly and William will be in a different one, almost an hour away. It’s closer to the house  and dad is going to keep them after school.

After panic mode, I switched to full-on attack mode—as in I’m going to figure this damn thing out. And, I did…for now.

• Get desk calendar to hang on the wall so everyone can see when someone has something going on.
• Be very diligent with my planning
• Up the freezer/stash meals to two (maybe 3)
• Pack a ready kit complete with snacks and games for all the kids. (I should’ve had that done a long time ago but I keep putting it off. As soon as I’m done sorting my thoughts, I’m gonna write me out a list of things to pack in said bag.)

It also hit me that I’m so glad I’m doing what I’m doing with nutrition and exercise. If I wasn’t, we’d be right back in the fast food lines—becuase it’s easier. I now know it may be easier but with a little planning, there are other alternatives to heart attacking waiting on a bun with a side of artery-clogging fries.

Take the past couple of days for instance. Yesterday, I was super-busy at work and by the end of the day, chicken breast, stove top, and baked sweet potatoes sounded great. My body told me otherwise. I substitued my quick and easy freezer meal of chicken nuggets and tator tots for the planned meal. Nutritionally, it’s not that healthy but for my well-being it’s the right thing. I was tired and not in the moood to really cook and the kids needed to get in bed early because they didn’t get much sleep then ight before. They started hollering the usual requests of McDonald’s and Sonic and to be honest, if I wouldn’t have had my freezer meal it would’ve been a stop in the fast food lane. Last night, Chris informs me of his band concert that’s tonight.

Fuck. I’ve got tuna helper planned was my first thought. Then, I guess we’ll have fast food. That didn’t really set well with me. Then it hit me. I still have the chicken, stuffing and such. I changed my plans for tonight to chicken  breast prepared in the crockpot, steamed veggies, and stove top. I have a really great workplace in that I can not only cook my chicken all day in the crockpot, I can also fix my sides in the microwave and feed the family here.

So, then Lilly and William came in from school with a note about the last parent committee meeting. I haven’t made the last few and knew that we could do the meeting. I had settled on Subway (another substitution) to just making sandwiches to a new idea. I had plenty of chicken left over so now I’m going to make chicken salad with grapes or something (I’ll iron it out tomorrow.) and I’m going to make some bittersweet mashed potatoes I saw on that 30-minute meals show. Throw in more steamed veggies and it’s a meal.

I can now breathe. I don’t feel out of control and I know that I will be able to do it.  Ahhh.

As I brag on myself and my progress thus far. Why not journey back with me a couple of years worth of pics. (Well that’s all I’ve got on my computer right now) When I find the rest of my pics on CD, I’ll do the complete journey in digital pics.

I have tons of ones that I have taken at various weights in my past endeavors. I just have to find them on CD somewhere. I know at my highest known was 317 just before I got PG with William in 2003. I was up to about 315 after having Nate (Aug. 06).
Here are just some pics I’ve found at me at various weights, ending with today’s pics of me at 253. I’ll do a chronology of what I’ve got so far. As soon as I get below 250, I’m gonna wear my new red dress to work and I’ll take pics in it.

January 2006—287

Of course right after we took these I found out I was PG with Nate. I did well for about 10 weeks afterward eating healthy and doing some exercise. I couldn’t balance the mental counting calories with trying to make sure I ate enough so I quit counting.

November 2006—290

I gained up to 315 with Nate was 305 after being released from the hospital. I lost down to 270 but couldn’t stop eating and was back up to 290. Scout from Survivor came into town before she moved out of Oklahoma and we (my coworkers and I being the big survivor fans we are) ambushed their lunch at a local restaurant to do an interview for the newspaper. She even stopped by the office to pose for pics with us. And here I thought my arm would cover up some of that fat.

At 303
Feb. 07—at a banquet for work. I’ve already chugged down a couple of mixed drinks. I remember barely being able to squeeze into this shirt and skirt. Size 26-28w. Note to self: DO NOT GO HAVE SOMEONE NEW CUT YOUR HAIR JUST BEFORE A BANQUET. You will get butchered bangs.

Apr. 07—My attempts at trying to be healthy and involving the whole family. We would walk from the house down a road next to us and back. I’m wearing the baby. I could’ve shot Jeff for taking this backside pic of me

June 2007—301

Can you tell my loving hubby took this pic of my wide load. This is the first time I borrowed the Canon 20D camera from work. He loved the telephoto lens. I’m showing this picture because these shorts I wore in June of last year can now slide off me without unbuttoning them

November 2007-297.8

Just after I had started my first online biggest loser challenge. It’s clipped from the family portrait. I’m actually down 10 pounds here. I did gain 5 more pounds by the end of this challenge. It was the holidays and I’m just impressed I stuck with it and only gained the 5.

January 2008—302.6
No pic. I started the BL challenge again. I waited until Jan. 16 to take my measurements.
Here is the chart thus far.

I’m having a horrible time measuring my hips. That’s why they are up and down. I think I may have my SIL tattoo me a couple of small marks on my legs so I have points marked to get to each time. J/K.
So in 3 months I’ve lost
Bust: 3 inches
Chest: 3.5 (can we say new bra size finally)
Waist: 6.75
Hips: 6 but that’s negotiable. I had to guestimate the 63 in the beginning cuz my tape measure only goes up to 60.
Thighs: about 2 inches
Calves: 1.25 inches
Ankles .5 inches
Arms: 1 inch on right 1.5 on left

this is my brag for the day.

Oh and I couldn’t forget my current pics of me at 253.6 From the front, side and back

I guess my next picture update will be me in my Red dress and High Heels. After that I have a size 20 old navy mini skirt one of my fellow 3FCers gave me a long time ago. I fit into all the other clothes she gave me. I’m determined to let my inner hooch out to play in this dress

How said is it that my first time was the Sweetheart Race and the second is the Flower Power. I completed my second 5K last Saturday. What a difference decent weather and a not so fast start will do for ya. I started more toward the back of the pack this time. Once the gun sounded (yes they actually shoot a gun) I just followed the pack at my own slower pace. I again had that urge to stop running within a minute like I usually do but I just pushed through it and continued on. There was this guy and girl that was in front of me that would jog for a bit and then walk. Every time I would pass them jogging, they would start jogging again to get a bit past me before walking. I’m talking every time I passed them. There was even a guy in a plaid shirt and overalls. I shit you not. This is Oklahoma. I passed him one time before he overtook me and gained quite a distance on me. At the start of the race I had two goals in mind: to jog the whole thing and to not finish last. Of course they also had a race-walk going on at the same time so I knew realistically I wouldn’t be the last one to cross the finish line. I just didn’t want to be the last of the 5kers (not the race walkers) to cross that line. I made it to the 1k marker. I was going at a decent pace and doing well. I heard them say 8-something when I crossed it. The next couple of kilometers were a gradual uphill. I just used my technique I figured out while jogging around town–hold my head down so I can see just a few feet in front of me and I’m not focusing on how far I have to go or how big that hill is.
I made it to 2k and I am getting winded. I’m determined to make it all the way though. I can see the water station up ahead but it looks like people are only getting water after they turn around. I wasn’t about to grab me a cup of water beforehand. I finally make it around the cone and see there are tons of people behind me and not just those with the yellow numbers–race walkers. Woohoo. That was just the burst I needed. I passed an older lady (I looked her up and she was in the 60-64 age group) and she gave me a great kudos. Of course then when she started jogging again, she blew me out of the water.
Down the hill and to 3k–only 2k left. The overall guy is way ahead of me at this point and the couple are at a pretty good distance. I had already made it another goal to beat those two across the finish line just because it was getting irritating that they would jog every time I would pass them. I noticed toward the end they were walking a bit slower and not jogging as long. After the 4k mark, I passed them and sped up some. It was sweet justice to hear another one bites the dust on my MP3 player as I’m passing them. They pass me again but again had to start walking so I passed them on the curve heading up the final stretch. The old lady is isn’t far ahead of me. I decided not to pass her. As soon as I saw the finish line, I put the afterburners on and sped way up. I started them a bit too soon because as I got toward the finish line, my body told me to either walk now or fall on my face. I chose to walk across the finish line.
I still consider it a huge success in what I accomplished. It was such a great feeling to be able to do it. I’m looking forward to my next one and I’d like to get under 40 minutes. That’s shaving 5 1/2 minutes or so off my current time. I know it seems ambitious but I’m sure I can do it. I’m going to keep jogging 3x a week and still do other cardio at least 3x a week. I did jog again on Monday and my umph just wasn’t there. My legs and calves hurt. Bad. My heartrate never got over 165. I had to stop jogging for two blocks in the middle of it and then I walked the final two blocks back to work. I was okay with it though. I don’t know if I didn’t warm up enough or what. On Saturday I stretched a lot before jogging where I’ve usually just walked a bit to warm up. I’m going to stretch tomorrow before I jog and see if that makes a difference. I have a new path I wanna take and it should be at 4 miles. We’ll see if I can do it.
All in all I’m doing very well. I had a BBQ Friday at the kids’ school, a BBQ Saturday at MILs and then Jeff and I actually got to go out Saturday night. I’m sure it’s the first and last time MIL watched all four kids. I know I better mark it on my calendar. We tried going out to two different clubs and both were dead, dead DEAD. We played a few games of pool at the second one before driving the 1 1/2 hours back home. Of course, one there, we felt like teenagers and messed around in his truck before coming in the house. All I can say is it’s much easier to do that in the truck that in was in the SUV the last time we attempted it.
I still feel like I’m running in circles most days. We’re a lot busier at work now that we have a new sales person. She is really selling the shit out of stuff and makes us busier. Plus I cut 1 1/2 hours out of the end of my day because I come home when all 3 kids get to my work and after they have a snack. I met with the boss last week because I was feeling frazzled and needed to try and get back onto a schedule. Hopefully it will work. Today wasn’t so bad. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
I had been having a lot of other things on my mind, most of which I think I got worked out. I talked a lot with coworker B about it. I’ve been debating over whether or not to offer to help Mom plan out her meals. It’s been working great for me and it really doesn’t take that long to do it. Now that I’ve been doing it for almost 4 months, it’s second nature for me to take Saturday or Sunday and write out the plan for the week. I make sure it gets done. So talking with coworker B, I came to a conclusion. B wants me to help her plan out meals. I told Mom that B wants me to help plan out her meals. Now the ball is in Mom’s court if she wants the help and I’ve offered without outright offering. I’ve got B using fitday this week to see where she’s at calorie-wise. I’ve also starting righting out a few tips and tricks to give her as well as some general ideas for meals. She is diabetic and I’m going to make sure to get lower carb items for her and plan extra snacks for now. She’s not very active but has liked going to the gym with my boss. I think in Thursday I’m going to do the 1 mile WATP and have her just walk the whole thing, as long as she can so she can judge how she’s doing and has a starting point. I told her if she can only do 5-10 minutes at a time that is wonderful. It’s a great place to build. In a way I get all my excitement back at planning and taking charge of something without altering my plan. It’s working for me. I’m still at just under 260. I gained 1/2 pound this week but I take that as a success since I had two BBQs and mucho beer. I took it all in stride. I was aware of everything I ate at both BBQs, didn’t go back for seconds and got right back on track Sunday and have been going strong ever since. I even let Maya come out to play Sunday and it wasn’t near as bad as I feared. I made it about 40 minutes and not the hour I had entered but it was still a good workout. I would’ve made the hour but again my darn legs were hurting. It’s the upper outside portion, not really the hamstring, not the gluteus, I’m gonna have to look up which muscle it is. It’s not so bad today. As long as it doesn’t hurt tomorrow, I’m going to give it my all and jog.
I know there was more I wanted to write about but it’s slipping my mind right now. Please let tomorrow not be so swamped so I can try to remember what it is I wanted to write about and get it written.

I hate days at work where there is nothing pressing to do but I don’t feel like doing the piddly shit either. Today is dragging by. I’ve already built all the ads that needed to be built, I don’t feel like messing with my personal pics, I’m about to scan in a few for next week’s editions, I have tanning at 12:30 and I’m gonna walk afterward, and then come back and eat lunch.

One bright note—I’m wear size 18w jeans my mom bought me for my birthday 4 years ago. I know I had already started gaining some of my weight back when she bought them because they were a bit snug. Today they fit without me having to wiggle into them. I pulled the tags off and you can bet these black beauties are covering my ass as I type.

Bright note two—I jogged yesterday. Well I wogged 2 miles in about 38 minutes. I’m not sure the exact time/distance since I think my pedometer may not be measuring right. I know that I made it a lot farther on the jogging parts than the last couple of times. I’m still debating which category to enter for next week’s 5k. I really want to enter the running part so I can be officially timed but at the same time feel I made need to enter the run/walk category. That category scares me because I feel like I may not push myself as hard as I need to if I don’t enter the full on run portion. I’m going to see how my participation in the First Ever 3FC 5k goes this weekend and submit my form on Monday for the race. My plan is to have Mom go with me to the park with the kids and have a picnic. They can eat while I run and then play in the park. It has a nice figure 8 walking track that is supposed to be 1 mile for the figure 8 and 1/2 mile for the lower circle of the 8. I’m not really sure. I figure I’d do 3 figure 8s and one lower circle and see how far my pedometer shows I’ve gone. I’m going to double check the stride on it tonight in case I mismeasured the first time. I’m just really pumped that I can jog again. Now if I can just find something to amuse myself with for the next hour or so I’ll be good.

Well my planner is found. It’s really weird. My planner and diaper bag were found on the same day. Mom had my planner that came from her car. She wasn’t making the connection that I was looking for said planner. I don’t feel so out of control anymore. Chris found the diaper bag in the yard. It’d been missing almost a week with barely a few marks on it. Not sure how the dogs didn’t keep from demolishing the thing in a week. Oh well. My exercise DVD and Chris’ medicine is still MIA.

I had started a new message last week sometime and never made it back to finish it. Without my planner, life seemed so disorganized and chaotic and just having it back, I’ve already mapped out the menu for the next week, have a couple of appointments penciled in and just feel so much better. Forget that the witch made her presence known yesterday. I’m cramping but still in a good mood and I lost almost 4 pounds last week. WooHOO. I thought I had been relegated back to the land of 1 pound a week loss but not this week. (Not that that’s not an awesome place to be, there’s just something about seeing several of them bad boys gone all at once.) I’m also getting back into exercising. Now that I know where the planner is, I can start planning back in my exercise.